browser icon
You are using an insecure version of your web browser. Please update your browser!
Using an outdated browser makes your computer unsafe. For a safer, faster, more enjoyable user experience, please update your browser today or try a newer browser.

Retail therapy

Posted by on October 20, 2011

The latest update. Full tail… tale at Changlinomicon.

Forrest:

They were all standing there laughing at me, when suddenly it all went quiet. Dead quiet. Even the crows in the trees went silent. The vile children all dropped to their knees, looking terrified. Good! I looked around expecting see someone from social services and the police. “They’ve kidnapped and tortured me!” I yelled as I turned. “Arrest them!”

Only it wasn’t the police. It was a horse. A horse with a tall slim rider on its back, and fake Spock ears, dressed as if he was going to a medieval theme party. With furs. We don’t approve of people wearing furs. And he had a huge sword. “It’s illegal to have a blade more than three inches long in public,” I told him.

He got quite upset at this… or maybe he just has anger management problems and needs to see a psychologist. His eyes went all narrow. “Why do you not show proper respect, changeling? Kneel.”

“I have bad knees and I’ve been excused from sport,” I told him, but it didn’t stop him from pulling that sword out. So I knelt down quickly. It might not have been quick enough.

“I think you need some help with learning respect,” he said cruelly, as he put the sword back into the show-off scabbard, and waved a finger at me.

I was suddenly aware of a terrible pain in my… well the seat of my trousers. And then a tearing noise… from the seat of my trousers. I tried to see what cruel trick had been played on me this time. All I could see was a large fluffy pink and chartreuse furry thing behind me. I scrambled up and tried to run away.

It followed me.

Because…
feeling behind me…
It was part of me.

9 Responses to Retail therapy

  1. MartinB

    Oh dear….

    Also, yay for really annoying elves. 😀

    Please sir, may I have some more?

  2. Pam Uphoff

    Pink and green fluffy tail? You are not a nice man! 😉

  3. Dave Freer

    More will be forthcoming. I am not a nice man.

  4. Ori Pomerantz

    More, please? BTW, have you read Terry Pratchett’s latest? It’s about goblins.

  5. Ori Pomerantz

    BTW, you forgot to update the copy at http://davefreer.com/the-changelinomicon/ .

  6. Kate

    Ooh! Lovely. That poor goblin!

    Kate

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *